Stream of conscienceness

So, I have so many dreams I want to do and I just feel like writing about them today. I don't know which ones will come to pass, or which ones are merely whims and fancies for today. I love to draw, but as in my whole life; I never really know what to draw.  When I was a kid, I just drew dogs over and over b.c I was obsessed with them. I still draw them from time to time, but mostly these days I don't do much of that. I rarely draw something in its entirety, just random lines that turn into something eventually. I often ask God for prophetic objects or pictures, but sometimes I am not sure if I am just pulling from my  imagination or not. So, if anybody has some good ideas of objects to draw, hit me up.  SO, I guess my point is: I would like to get better at drawing and use that somehow more.

      Another dream/wish, is that I can somehow learn to read music and maybe drums.  I love thinking about, learning about music; how it works, how it's made, making music, listening to it. I really am at the point where I want to work with other people and create some but I never feel I have anything of real importance to say. I don't find much value in what I have to say, but sometimes I feel things.,, maybe that comes out in my music. I often just play for the feel of it, (I like my hands strumming a guitar, usually loudly) and I am not sure I really have anything to say ... so does that make me less of an artist? I am saying stuff now- but even as I type, I feel it's useless and I might just erase it. I think you would be surprised at how often I write but not in the open. My words are just, as another once said of herself, "a stream of conscienceness". I don't really see the value in them for another to listen to... so music is important but I hope there is a reason in it, otherwise it's in vain.   So - I also want to get good at playing the cello, for I love the sound of it. It is going to take me some time, to  find the right teacher that is inspiring, b/c I had one lesson already and I couldn't find myself going back, not to him at least. Don't know why exactly, maybe he had no love for the cello and it bored me. Maybe I just couldn't see it. Hmm, will do that someday.  SO- I have more dreams, but I gotta go now.